Phillip Island

Ah phillip Island, now I know how much fudge it takes to give me a headspin and what a pirate penguin would metaphorically sound like if it was getting boozed up.

Yes Svetiepants took a holiday, it would've been awesome if my 8 other stupid friends weren't there but hey, I couldnt afford a cabin on my own and I needed Leah to cook for me and Aster to tell me to drink alchohol when i lose at cards (which is always).

A weekend of eating and drinking and bad dressing was undertaken. This was why it had to be 3 hours away from homeground, so that only the penguins and dead seal carcasses on the beach would know of it.

Oh by the way, I'm sorry to shatter anyone in Melbourne who was planning on opening a business called 'U-neek gifts', but the name is taken. Yup, out in Cowes (no actual cows, just bad gift shops) you'll find the place thriving. Not to mention it's rival, 'Anything Goes: at the right place'. (ugh, its so wierd and stupid!)

There's also a psychedelically coloured cafe that does huge chicken shnitzels which come from giant monster chickens fed on cats.

There's fluroscent gelati, tennis sweatbands and clothes for your grandma.

The best bits included
- our fantastic beach-facing porch, allowing Chox to yell at kids on the lawn without moving from her rocker.
- Air so fresh you wanted to bottle it
-Baywatch runs from boys swimming in their underwear
-The penguin calls invented by the cabin dwellers

Unfortunately some photogarphic evidence got out, if you look closely you may find it on ringo.com, that shit house site that seems to be so hip with the kids these days.

Stitchface is feeling much better, seen here with Stitchbutterfly.
Anyways on with the blogywogs.
Things that are funny...

Side effects of the 'morning after pill' include "unwanted pregancy".

Pitted prunes packet reads "may contain pits"

After what you have just read you may come to the conclusion that all I do is get pregnant and sit around eating prunes. Well this is simply not true. I cant have it All you know; looks AND lifestyle. If you think that I don't have more productive (and less reproductive) uses for my time then you're so wrong!

Why just last night I went out for Indian food and handcuff purchasing.
And before that I went out to Uni, and I was so enthusiastic that I showed up to class an hour early. "Hello? Is anyone there? Ok, I'll just wait outside on the floor then."
And the day before that I nearly got arrested and cried in public but ended up getting a discount in a shop.

The last one of those is probably the best story so I'll elaborate on that one. Just let me lick this prune stickiness off my fingers. Oh, I mean other...food...stickyness. ahem never mind.

So the arrested thing...

• Svetie goes into Ministry of Style to buy Parklife tickets (an awesome festival, see www.fuzzy.com.au) she tries on too many fluro clothes and chats away to the storeguy.
• He puts aside two tickets on the counter and leaves me to try on endless amounts of raver clothes.

• When I'm done in the changeroom I come out and wait to purchase my goods. The storeguy has gone upstairs and the only people in the shop are me and his friend. The friend tells me he'll be back in a minute.

• Storeguy returns to the counter. He looks at me and says "There were two tickets here, there's only one now." He turns to his mate and continues, "You saw two tickets here right?" His mate replies, "yeah I did. It's only been me and her in the shop though".

• They both look at me suspiciously. At this point I begin to realise that this doesn't look good for me. The storeguy tells me to "stop messing around and hand it over". This makes me feel really helpless because I have nothing to hand over. "I didn't steal it, I would never steal from you" I reply. The friend then tells storeguy that he saw me put my coat over the counter and then the tickets were gone. I had been set up I thought!

• As I start to give teary eyed death stares in the friends direction, the storeguy calls the police. Hearing my description announced over the phone to the police was really getting to me. "Blond hair, black jeans, green top etc" I start whimpering and crying while every few minutes yelling abuse at the friend for "setting me up" and stuff.

• As I beg them to search my stuff they just take pictures of me with a phone. Totally creepy.

• Then a customer saves my life; She picks up a ticket from the floor of the changeroom and hands it to the storeguy.

• He apologises profusely, gives me a discount, a keyring and pleads with me to please calm down. After all I was crying like a baby and had created quite a scene.

Getting a discount made easy hey?
What would you do to get a discount?