Brownies and handcuffs

RACV: Ok, may I have the location of the vehicle please?

Svetlana: Umm, on the Hume Hwy in Cambelfield.

RACV: Can you be more specific please? Are their any landmarks nearby?

Svetlana: It's in a carpark, opposite K-Mart.

RACV: So it's in the K-Mart carpark?

Svetlana: No, not exactly. It's in the other carpark...the one in front of Sexyland.

RACV: Sexyland?

Svetlana: Yes it's in the Sexyland carpark, right in front of the window.

The last time I locked my keys in the car, I didn't want to call my mum and ask her to bring the spare key because they were in a box of condoms in my room.
I had removed the key to a more appropriate place after that incident.
I thought it would all be ok, foolproof.
When I locked my keys in my car a second time, I didn't count on doing it in the Sexyland carpark. There was no way I was going to ask my mum to pick me up from an adult shop so it was just the RACV I had to embarrass myself in front of.

It did mean however that me and my three passengers had two hours to look around in Supermarket of the Sexy...
One less fortunate passenger requested that we strap her into a large pair of leather bondage cuffs as tightly as possible. She then proceeded to get stuck with her arms behind her back. We took advantage of her situation by tickling her and spanking her with the large range of whips available to us. Once we were done tormenting her we had to ask to manager to help us uncuff her because we had cuffed her so tightly.

Ok enough about fucking SexyLand, I'm boring myself.

Manic Notes Time! And this time it's called... Alex says the darndest tings!

Here's some funny stuff my bestie Alex said.

"You know how when a guy has a dog you automatically like them better?"

"Wow the Navy is in town, time to get my vag out!"

"Svet! Don't interrupt me when I'm talking about cookies!"

Svet wants your opinion time!

If I were to say 'peanut butter brownie' to you, would you...
a) Prick up your ears, wave your bushy tail and beg beg beg?
b) Tell me to stop talking to you and ask how I got into your house?
c) Turn your nose up in disgust?

Give me your answers people!
That us all, I'm tired and dizzy with cold sweaty palms. Yes it was a great night last night, shut up you're just jealous.

Oh wait I forgot to put a picture in.


There.

Well it's about time...

PARTY BLOG EVERYONE! to those who didn't make it, here's your front row seat (also fuck you) And to those who did make it, similar seating provided for you to check yourselves out from various unflattering angles.

The Brunswick Green was a wonderful choice of venue because...
a) The staff were chilled out and spoke in soothing voices when I was panicy and incoherent
b) The staff were hot hot hot and also could be bribed with skittles to do just about anything
c) The food was tasty (apperently) I didn't eat any
d) The tab lasted lots cos of reasonable prices, not responsible drinkers I might add.
e) It was close to my house
f) It had lots of crazy crap on the walls (see below)












As is normal 21st policy, the arrival order of friends ultimately governs their position in the Svet best friend list. Now we're going to exclude family from this rule cos otherwise my family would be at the top of my best friends list and thats just creepy and disgusting. Sebastian Evan's successfully escalated himself to best friend #1 due to his early arrival, this meant of course that my previous best friend #1 Alex was demoted to a pityful 2nd or 35th or something.
See here: the early arrivers and new bestest best friends.











Ok here's my dearest Alex...



















It was a requirement that all my friends had to have "funky fresh moves" As Chox and Seb have expertly demonstrated.














And then me and Lucy and Chox...















Sexy ladies anyone? (L-R are Nat, Cat, Jess and Lucy)














Aw Ravers...















Aww, cute boys talking about cute stuff.














Do shiny-haired people have more friends? I think so.
















* * *

Now I would like to talk about someone I do not know... for no particular reason!
We shall refer to him as only "that guy in Japan" for two reasons.
reason #1: It makes him sound so much cooler
reason #2: I forgot his actual name
"That guy in Japan" resides in Japan (as you may have guessed) but is a born-Melburnite. He spends most of his time reading young girls' blogs and watching his friend David naked via webcam. He is mostly always surrounded by beautiful women and has a knack for weasling his way into people's blogs.
That is all.

* * *


and now for the sleazy stuff... SEXY SEXY SEX
Man, it just wouldn't be one of my parties if a whole bunch of undesirables didn't crawl out of their dark, dank, corners and join the festivities.











Ok I know that this looks like a spur-of-the-moment thing but it really wasn't, I have countless photos of these guys doing this. It really makes you wonder...wonder if you would like to order some prints for yourself? I thought as much! Send me your details and I'll mail you out a set! They make great christmas gifts.








Ummm, I don't feel like saying anything here.





Oh wait I'm in that one! And I have no neck! I look like some kind of sea monster! Geeez...











And finally, the seediest of them all, lock up your sons, daughters, cats and dogs...

Lucy is on the juicy!

And that pretty much sums up a particularly biased view of a wonderful evening! Good night suckers!

From MY party to YOUR monitor (in a creepy dark room)

COMING SOON...
(I can't publish the ULTIMATE, AWESOME, GIGANTOR party blog just yet as i'm still waiting for photos from rather dodgy sources) But stay tuned into 'a nice place...' it won't be long at all.