RACV: Ok, may I have the location of the vehicle please?
Svetlana: Umm, on the Hume Hwy in Cambelfield.
RACV: Can you be more specific please? Are their any landmarks nearby?
Svetlana: It's in a carpark, opposite K-Mart.
RACV: So it's in the K-Mart carpark?
Svetlana: No, not exactly. It's in the other carpark...the one in front of Sexyland.
RACV: Sexyland?
Svetlana: Yes it's in the Sexyland carpark, right in front of the window.
The last time I locked my keys in the car, I didn't want to call my mum and ask her to bring the spare key because they were in a box of condoms in my room.
I had removed the key to a more appropriate place after that incident.
I thought it would all be ok, foolproof.
When I locked my keys in my car a second time, I didn't count on doing it in the Sexyland carpark. There was no way I was going to ask my mum to pick me up from an adult shop so it was just the RACV I had to embarrass myself in front of.
It did mean however that me and my three passengers had two hours to look around in Supermarket of the Sexy...
One less fortunate passenger requested that we strap her into a large pair of leather bondage cuffs as tightly as possible. She then proceeded to get stuck with her arms behind her back. We took advantage of her situation by tickling her and spanking her with the large range of whips available to us. Once we were done tormenting her we had to ask to manager to help us uncuff her because we had cuffed her so tightly.
Ok enough about fucking SexyLand, I'm boring myself.
Manic Notes Time! And this time it's called... Alex says the darndest tings!
Here's some funny stuff my bestie Alex said.
"You know how when a guy has a dog you automatically like them better?"
"Wow the Navy is in town, time to get my vag out!"
"Svet! Don't interrupt me when I'm talking about cookies!"
Svet wants your opinion time!
If I were to say 'peanut butter brownie' to you, would you...
a) Prick up your ears, wave your bushy tail and beg beg beg?
b) Tell me to stop talking to you and ask how I got into your house?
c) Turn your nose up in disgust?
Give me your answers people!
That us all, I'm tired and dizzy with cold sweaty palms. Yes it was a great night last night, shut up you're just jealous.
Oh wait I forgot to put a picture in.
There.
8 comments:
As to the poll, Lucy and i both agree that opton a) is the only way to go. As to the sexyland incident: hahahaha. and again hahahaha. Love ya
a)??? Man you guys are festy.
Just so everyone knows, the navy remark was a joke. Besides, I doubt I'd have much of a chance with a sailor. I remember my dad taught me this song when I was about 8 years old. It left an impression:
"I say, old bean!
Have you ever seen a queen,
Up to his nuts in the Royal Marine?"
Said the nipper to the skipper,
As he flogged his little flipper,
And he couldn't give a bugger if the ship went down.
"I say, old man!
Get a woman if you can,
If you can't get a woman get a clean old man!"
Said the captain of the whaler,
As he bunged it up a sailor,
And he couldn't give a bugger if the ship went down.
My god Al, with songs like that at the age of 8 i suddenly see you in a whole new light, it explains so much of your character. My grandpa didn't teach me that till i was 12! I feel we've bonded, no one else i know seems to know it and i used to get these strange looks.
God Alex, you're so para about the vag thing. You don't need to tell people it was a joke! Oh, and your dad is disgusting. No wonder you ended up gay eh?
I'm not para! It's just that 15 or 16 of the guys I'm currently sleeping with read this blog, and I don't want them to think I'm a slut...
I say b)
"Wow the Navy is in town, time to get my vag out!"
Very classy. Signs of a generation.
Nick: oooh did we actually get into Beat?
Ive been photographed before a few times but never gotton in! It must've been Lucy's low-cut top that made 'the cut' so to speak. How exciting! Do u have a copy?
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