Some stuff you'd do if you were me

Welcome to the future in kid's entertainment.

This is 'Totally Spies!'



I found out about this kid's show because my best friend Alex is actually a very troubled, overgrown, consumerist kidult. When we were renting a movie the other day at the glamorous Video Eezy, Alex decided to buy two mini DVDs of a cartoon se'd never heard of. I'm guessing that the only reason she did this was because she didn't end up purchasing any ragged VHS copies of Sailormoon this is probably because she'd bought them all last week.

However Alex later informed me that she was actually buying 'Totally Spies' because one of the spies was also called Alex. I agreed that this was indeed a very good reason and congratulated her on her purchase.

After all, just last weekend I let a strange guy take drugs in the back seat of my car because his name was also Alex. And a couple of weekends earlier I hugged this girl and clinged to her arm all night because her name was also Alex... and she thought I just liked her pffft!

Anyway we watched these 'Totally Spies' DVDs with great anticipation and found a whole lot more than we bargained for. Totally Spies or Totally Skanks?I just had to pause it and take some stills for your blog viewing perverse pleasure.

So apart from pausing cartoons in such a way that they look dirty, there are lots of other interesting things you can do with your time...
Sunday Night for example I went to 'Pharmacy', this big rave shebang at The Metro. It was awesome apparently, but I couldn't tell you because I dont' remember much.

Here is how you would've seen the night if you were Svetlana...

• You hop into your comically small Mazda and speed aggressively down Rathdowne St to to pick up rave buddies Seb and Blair who've been angriliy waiting for some time.

• Once you've picked up everyone and arrived at the Bourke St carpark you wait for ages and ages for the cue of cars in front to move. Seb and Blair explain to you that these cars are actually parked cars. You feel dumb and drive around them.

• You get scared that your arms are too short to reach to ticket box, then you are worried that you car will fall off the steep ramps. Then you take a really long time parking and hitting the wall.

• You get to Metro, HOORAY! It's crowded and loud and everybody is looking anxious and edgy waiting for their pills to kick in. Some extremely happy young man sits next to you and tells you how amazing he feels. You consider strangling him.

(Pictured here are Party Skanks Seb and Blair at Metro)

• After what seems like forever, your drug contacts work out and you make a big show of eating it as publicly as you can because it makes Blair nervous.

• You're jealous that Waxie is such a good dancer, you decide its better if you dance next to someone shit. Like the G heads.

• You shouldn't have taken a whole pill, you just got lost standing still. Your thoughts are going a million miles an hour backwards and you're grateful that you haven't felt the need to articulate these thoughts.

• Dancing dancing dancing sweating sweating sweating. Mmmm breathing feels like sex.

• People (possibly your friends) take you for a walk. You chew on their hands then you chew on your car seat. Why did't I know that this felt so good? You wonder.

• Noss time in the car. Pins and needles all over and tin can sounds. Where'd you go just now and why are they laughing at me? you think.

• Random message time you think! Oh no reply...maybe it's later than you thought. (actual time 6am)

• Blair sends you on a dangerous and embarassing mission to ask randoms for drugs. You ask one guy, the guy in front of you. He instantly puts three little happy pills in your hand. They are called 'pink sex' and they are just that.

• Why did you take the whole thing? Now you've sped up time again. The Metro starts to close. Was I just here for 8 hours? Dammit what happened? Was it good? I hope it was, I was there.

• You get home somehow and your friends seem to have gotten on their way too. Hey you found an extra rib! You smell like bitter smoke and B.O., your mouth tastes like a small animal crawled in there to die. Somehow you've accumulated a mild form of lock-jaw.

What a great night!

I'll leave you with images from my saturday afternoon in the park on March 11th. It was my friend Ye olde's birthday and we celebrated by picnicing and gassing oursleves.