Mum went away for the week, and seeing my little brother still doesn't understand the "parent-free house" concept, he adorably chose to stay at his Daddy's place and cement himself in front of the X-box. No arguments here.
So what does a hip young 20yrold such as myself do? I invited all of two friends round, we drank cask wine, ate doughnuts and fell asleep. Yeah I know what you're thinking..."I wish my life was as rich and fulfilling", well don't be too hard on yourself, some of us have it, others well ...suck ass.
I think it's vital that I mention to all those crazy kids at home to take caution in re-creating this live-fast party-hard lifestyle of mine, there can be consequences...
For example: I do reccomend that the cooking of stir-fry and heavy drinking should be exercised in the right order. That being, first cook, then drink heavily.
Before mum left she asked me... in a kind of naive, parental, and largely rhetorical way "You are going to be carefull with the house right?" and I said "Yeah, of course mum!...you have insurance right?" She was not amused, in fact she was frightnened, so very frightened. I was thinking woah, i was only kidding. lighten up crazy woman! but then I realised that she did really have reason to take my joke seriously. Everytime mum has left the house in my paws, something of the Wedgewood China variety has been smashed up. I could've broken something cooler I know, but its always the fucking china. Once I tried to be cool and take the car out when i was 15 but I couldn't lift the handbrake and it just rolled backwards down the driveway and got stuck there. I had to call a very nice friend of mine to drive it back into the drive for me. OOOh scandal.
So anyways mum eventually left and I did the big, stir-fry, cask wine friend thing. Then I kicked them out and invited a new man round last nite. It's just a rule that when you get the place to yourself you have to have sex, look it up.
It just so happened that I actually had someone to invite. This totally adorable guy covered in toned, perfect skin and cheekbones that could cut my heart open. It was so romantic how we met as well (which, was just 5 days ago), I was dancing and enjoying myself and he was smiling the sweetest smiles in my direction and then the guy i had hooked up (who was coincidently also his good friend)... left. I do love a sweet, wholesome courtship.
So anyways again, 'Cheekbones' came round to indulge in my excellent, umm...stir-fry. And this is where the cat started acting wierd, she normally hates me and treats me like a slave Feed me, let me outside and let me inside again within 30 seconds cos I changed my mind, and now piss off and let me sleep in the corner.But this night, I swear she didn't want me to get any, cos she would start howling if i kicked her out of the bedroom. She wanted to take up the whole bed and paw my sexy visitor's body, when that was what I should've been doing. The poor guy thought i was into some freaky shit with the wrong pussy. He looked at me as I was attempting to push the cat off and begged "Don't let it under the covers!"
The conclusions? He probably will report me to the RSPCA and my cat is secretly trying to sabotage my love life.
Thursday, August 25, 2005
Monday, August 22, 2005
Not so new, not so shiny
OhNO! I realise that my last post got cut off and I have no-one to blame but...technology. The computer and I were battling it out and I paused to scratch myself and Bamm! He got the upper hand and I was left writhing and twitching on the floor. TRUE STORY.
So by the way, Agent Fare-evader you can shut your smarmy trap about my punctuation, cos it was all there...before the battle that is. Then it all got cut off and much was lost. It may happen again so don't get scared, just email technical support at urasucker@losermail.com/
I can sort of remember the last bit of the post though...I was saying how its ok for manics to contradict themselves cos we're always changing our manic little minds. Fast and furious i say, fast and furious. naa i never say that.
On a more cheerful note...I had such a tasty weekend, i'm still so scattered, and walking around uni feels like body surfing, but without all the wet, salty stuff. U know what I mean. I reckon that you can always tell that you had an awesome weekend if you feel like it's still going and it's somewhere near tuesday.
I'm a manic who likes to learn stuff (mainly irrelevant stuff like finding out how much blue food dye you can put in water before you can taste it and if you can really use windows as doors) The most important thing i learnt this w'end was that u don't need to spend heaps of money to have a good time, I spent a mere $20 for countless hours of un-rememberable fun times. Because you dont need money to enjoy yourself. What you do need is a rich boy shouting you drugs all night cos he thinks he might be in with a chance but is too insecure to actually try anything thank fuck, and an abandoned historic pub with a thousand rooms and free pool tables and liquids and lots of people who don't mind one bit if you dance with the pool cue (hat and cane 1930's style), ...on the pool table. The table had downward-sloping sydrome anyway, it's carer said it was good for it to get some entertainment anyway. Ah, theres nothing like a disabled joke to get the week kicking.
I thought i might mention that i woke from the w'end stained with blue dye and with a massive bruise on my head (from using the window as a door). Manics will be manics.
Kudos, cool cats
So by the way, Agent Fare-evader you can shut your smarmy trap about my punctuation, cos it was all there...before the battle that is. Then it all got cut off and much was lost. It may happen again so don't get scared, just email technical support at urasucker@losermail.com/
I can sort of remember the last bit of the post though...I was saying how its ok for manics to contradict themselves cos we're always changing our manic little minds. Fast and furious i say, fast and furious. naa i never say that.
On a more cheerful note...I had such a tasty weekend, i'm still so scattered, and walking around uni feels like body surfing, but without all the wet, salty stuff. U know what I mean. I reckon that you can always tell that you had an awesome weekend if you feel like it's still going and it's somewhere near tuesday.
I'm a manic who likes to learn stuff (mainly irrelevant stuff like finding out how much blue food dye you can put in water before you can taste it and if you can really use windows as doors) The most important thing i learnt this w'end was that u don't need to spend heaps of money to have a good time, I spent a mere $20 for countless hours of un-rememberable fun times. Because you dont need money to enjoy yourself. What you do need is a rich boy shouting you drugs all night cos he thinks he might be in with a chance but is too insecure to actually try anything thank fuck, and an abandoned historic pub with a thousand rooms and free pool tables and liquids and lots of people who don't mind one bit if you dance with the pool cue (hat and cane 1930's style), ...on the pool table. The table had downward-sloping sydrome anyway, it's carer said it was good for it to get some entertainment anyway. Ah, theres nothing like a disabled joke to get the week kicking.
I thought i might mention that i woke from the w'end stained with blue dye and with a massive bruise on my head (from using the window as a door). Manics will be manics.
Kudos, cool cats
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