The cause and effect relationship propells the narrative! Crap that was a really nerdy title.

Whats fun?
Drinking beer on a sunday afternoon in a park with JMcKay

Whats not fun?
Walking in kitten heels through the squishy park mud while holding a 6-pack

Whats fun?
Reassuring yourself that you can drink as much as JMcKay (who is a guy, and also a soft-core alchoholic) and just as quickly. Yes, well done Svet you can indeed hold your alchohol.

Whats not fun?
Admitting you like the Whitlams, slurring your words and spilling your beer all over JMcKay's jeans and then staring at the beer as it soaks right in for a really long time before you realise the cause-effect relationship between your hand and the beer, then your reflexes eventually kick in as JMcKay gives you a "You are the most uncool person in the world, i am so embarrassed for you right now" look.

Whats fun?
Stumbling around and frightening little kids away from the swings laughing like a crazy hobo

Whats not fun?
Discovering that Kahlua and milk is not a good chaser for beer

Whats fun?
Deciding that you're too drunk to purchase a train ticket and therefore excused from doing so

Whats not fun?
Having to run off the train to throw up in the bushes

Whats fun?
Trying to answer your phone while wasted

Whats not fun?
Trying to sound vaguely coherent for your mum on the other line

What's fun?
Finding yourself at a bar listening to a band. Now how did that happen? Did I agree to this or maybe I suggested it? Who am I here with? DONT CARE, FUN FUN FUN

What's not fun?
Running to the toilets to throw up and prefering the company of my own vomit to the "aquired taste" music now playing back inside.

Whats fun?
Making fun of screamo music and boys who dont pull their pants up.

Whats not fun?
Limping home in kitten heels and feeling ashamed because you look like all those bimbos who are coming back from the races and stumbling all over the place laughing like mangey hyenas.

Whats fun?
Drunk discussions about kinky sex

Whats not fun?
Waking up with a dry mouth and the worst pain you can imagine, yeah...period pain. The hangover was somewhere in there too.

Whats fun?
Deciding that naked sun baking, nurofen, iPod and lemon,lime and bitters is the BEST CURE for period pain.

Whats not fun?
The sleazy workmen driving loud machinery directly outside you front yard. And the wierd guy "home renovating" while playing FOX FM on the roof which looms over your backyard.

Whats fun?
Declaring (internally) that I have every fucking right to tan topless in my own back yard and it isnt my responsibility what people staring into my yard see.
Then getting relaxed and golden and tipsy from bitters...yes you can actually get tipsy from bitters, if you're me.

Svet Vs Automated advertisements

Yeah you heard me,
I am being belittled by internet security technology which is accusing me of not being a real person, but actually being a brainless, automated advertisement. I recently failed a character verification test 3 times in a row. I am stupider than a computider.
It's things like these that really damage my self esteem, it means that I have to keep building it up again with 'big nights out', because it is a well-known Svetlana fact that if you take the right combination of drugs and alchohol, and flashing lights, then you become inflated with a kind of superhero syrup which magically restores your self esteem.
If it wasn't enough that I failed a test that was designed for any normal human to pass, iTunes has taken a big swing at my ego as well. iTunes takes the liberty of classifying all my music for me, and it has decided that I am a big fan of the Gospel and Religious genre. I find this offensive. Sure Pedro the Lion may have the odd spiritual moment but he also has a song about big trucks and nothing else, it's called 'Big Trucks' in case you were interested.
But seeing we're on the topic of crazy genres then I woiuld personally like to make a genre for bands that deliberately misspell song titles. For example : Macy Gray's song 'I can't wait to meetchu', hmmm, I think that misspelled songs deserve a genre entirely of their own. It could be called the Dumbfuk genre.

Speaking of dumfu(c)ks, ...my friends have come up with some pretty stupid sayings lately, I don't even know why I am friends with them at all because they are so fucking lame. Naa just kidding guys, I know why I'm friends with you; cos nobody else understands my loveable antics.
So here's a curious one from Al, thats Alex H. from Brunswick in case you weren't sure...
"You know that you can actually tongue kiss a shoe? Think about it..."
Alex, you fiesty leather pusher babe.
Another winner comes from an anonymous friend of mine, we shall call her Tash to protect her identity. Now Tash is a delightful and intelligent girl, however part of her brain is missing, the part that understands proverbs and sayings. She is just really fucking bad at them. Here is a keeper,
"Hot as a cat out of hell" this appears to be a combination of 'Cat on a hot tin roof' and 'Bat out of hell', interesting since neither of these are sayings. There are plenty more of these to share around but I have forgotten them so I will need to make a phone call later in the week and ask for them again, all the while disguising the fact that I am publishing them on the web. Maybe I can start off every blog entry with a Tash quote, that would be cool.

Here's another one again from Alex, yes shut up I know I only have 2 friends,
"He's exactly the kinda guy I like, in that he's a jerk, and he's selfish, and he's not interested in me." Priceless! I'm sure most people can relate to that last one though. Phew, story of my life!

Well I must be off to listen to my old time gospel hits, and of course the "rock" genre because iTunes has decided that my PUNK compilation is really rock. Thats right Lars Fredrikson (of the punk band Rancid), you were wrong when you put together that compilation, its not actually punk at all, in fact you better put your mohawk down right now and stop living a lie.