Svet Vs Automated advertisements

Yeah you heard me,
I am being belittled by internet security technology which is accusing me of not being a real person, but actually being a brainless, automated advertisement. I recently failed a character verification test 3 times in a row. I am stupider than a computider.
It's things like these that really damage my self esteem, it means that I have to keep building it up again with 'big nights out', because it is a well-known Svetlana fact that if you take the right combination of drugs and alchohol, and flashing lights, then you become inflated with a kind of superhero syrup which magically restores your self esteem.
If it wasn't enough that I failed a test that was designed for any normal human to pass, iTunes has taken a big swing at my ego as well. iTunes takes the liberty of classifying all my music for me, and it has decided that I am a big fan of the Gospel and Religious genre. I find this offensive. Sure Pedro the Lion may have the odd spiritual moment but he also has a song about big trucks and nothing else, it's called 'Big Trucks' in case you were interested.
But seeing we're on the topic of crazy genres then I woiuld personally like to make a genre for bands that deliberately misspell song titles. For example : Macy Gray's song 'I can't wait to meetchu', hmmm, I think that misspelled songs deserve a genre entirely of their own. It could be called the Dumbfuk genre.

Speaking of dumfu(c)ks, ...my friends have come up with some pretty stupid sayings lately, I don't even know why I am friends with them at all because they are so fucking lame. Naa just kidding guys, I know why I'm friends with you; cos nobody else understands my loveable antics.
So here's a curious one from Al, thats Alex H. from Brunswick in case you weren't sure...
"You know that you can actually tongue kiss a shoe? Think about it..."
Alex, you fiesty leather pusher babe.
Another winner comes from an anonymous friend of mine, we shall call her Tash to protect her identity. Now Tash is a delightful and intelligent girl, however part of her brain is missing, the part that understands proverbs and sayings. She is just really fucking bad at them. Here is a keeper,
"Hot as a cat out of hell" this appears to be a combination of 'Cat on a hot tin roof' and 'Bat out of hell', interesting since neither of these are sayings. There are plenty more of these to share around but I have forgotten them so I will need to make a phone call later in the week and ask for them again, all the while disguising the fact that I am publishing them on the web. Maybe I can start off every blog entry with a Tash quote, that would be cool.

Here's another one again from Alex, yes shut up I know I only have 2 friends,
"He's exactly the kinda guy I like, in that he's a jerk, and he's selfish, and he's not interested in me." Priceless! I'm sure most people can relate to that last one though. Phew, story of my life!

Well I must be off to listen to my old time gospel hits, and of course the "rock" genre because iTunes has decided that my PUNK compilation is really rock. Thats right Lars Fredrikson (of the punk band Rancid), you were wrong when you put together that compilation, its not actually punk at all, in fact you better put your mohawk down right now and stop living a lie.