THANK GOD I WAS WEARING GOOD UNDERWEAR

Its amazing how relevant that title is lately. I suggest that everyone always be wearing reasonable underwear (definatley not NO underwear) to avoid embarrassing situations. Or is just a Svet-thing to get into these situations in the first place? I'm not completely alone though, my friend Bowie told me just the other week how he was halfway through a public strip-down (and of course I did not blink an eyelid, Bowie was always doing really NORMAL things like this) anyway, he explained to me that he had a little flicker of doubt running through his mind concerning the quality of his under garments. He then quickly dismissed it and decided that he was cool, cos he was having a good underwear day. As it turns out he was so very wrong. The moral? Confidence doesn't equal style or hygeine.

I was more fortunate in the underwear department on saturday night....
Hadn't dont the cheezy rave thing for ages so I decked myself out in stupid phat pants and more shiny crap than a christmas tree and headed out to somewhere called 'Krankin' which sounds more like somewhere bogans go to fight and leave each others passed out bodies lying face down in the urinals. Not at all what it actually is....boys wearing furry pants that theyve stitched themselves and tight singlets and jumping around like smurfs, hugging each other. Try and start a fight with a raver boy and he'll probably kill you with hugs.
With the help of a pink heart (not the one in my rib cage) I made lots of platonic dance buddies and hug buddies and talk-about-your-personal-life-even-though-ive-known-you-for-15-minutes buddies. I met a particularly good one, named after the stuff he puts in his hair, who I gave this blog site to. HI WAXIE, hope you're shaping up ok.
As the "love" started to intensify I decided that it was an amazing idea to break into the sealed off part of the club. So i brought several people into this empty dark room and ran around in circles, and when i got sick of that I ran in circles in the other direction. And then I swung from a bar on the ceiling and jumped on the empty stage to show everyone how I could "totally do" the melbourne shuffle. Results did NOT match expectations. Then I thought seeing it was kind of dark that we should take our tops off. I'm not completely insane you know, ....I said "I'll only do it if you guys do it" but they WERE all guys so I guess that makes me promiscuous. This brings me to my point finally, thank fuck i was wearing good underwear, didnt want to go shabby in the bra department if you plan on baring yourself to your new friends. I mean you have to make a sensible impression on these people right?

Well thats enough of all that crap, its tuesday and I should be straight by now. I am being mature and waltzing around the house in my PJs till the afternoon (when people come home so i have to get dressed) and spending so much time procrastinating that I notice things about my house that Ive never noticed before. Like our microwave...do you know what the fuck it calls itself? Get ready for this..."INSTANT ACTION" does that strike anyone else as a little bit OTT? If you look closely, its glows neon and plays funky slap bass tunes. I have a theory that this microwave is for sleazy, lonely people (which makes it right at home in my kitchen) because on top of advertising "instant action" it also has a special button for cooking "jacket potatoes" and jacket potatoes only got that? I get this image of this pasty hunchback character who eats only jacket potatoes and watches animal porn. And with that image my friends, I leave you.