I was going to call this post "Friends say the darndest thangs" but then I decided that what you guys say is more stupid than "darndest" and also Alex had already used that title in one of her quote specials. So it is with great pleasure on a very hot new year's eve that I bring to you a compilation of all the stupid and adorable things I've heard you crazy fuckers say lately. I have been really nice and chosen to publish quotes anonomously out of respect for their dumbarse authors, also cos I tend to get you guys mixed up and forget who said what.
"Sex with me is like pizza. Even when it's bad it's still alright."
"I'm always pretending that I don't have terrible taste (to guys I like)."
"Hello! I'm Fuck-arse the happy Christmas elf!"
" Anon- I bought new underwear but they don't fit
Svet- Didn't you try them on?
Anon-No
Svet- Well what size did you get?
Anon- I don't know
Svet- What do you mean you don't know?!
Anon- I didn't think underwear had sizes
Svet- Whaaa? Are you fucking insane?!
Anon- I thought, they're stretchy so there weren't really sizes. Like condoms, you know? You have to be either really big or really small for them not to fit."
"I was stoned once and I thought that a cat wanted to fuck me, the way she kept going past rubbing my legs and stuff."
" Svet- Are you talking about sex... or rice?
Anon- Both"
"My brain is tingling!"
"Hey! I was just offering unhelpful suggestions as always"
"- Can I fuck you in your Brumby's uniform?
- No,... why?
- That way I can get horny everytime I go and buy bread"
Well there you have it, it would be better but I have to go get dressed now. What? You think I sit around all day publishing stuff for you to read in-between checking your email?! Leave me alone!
10 comments:
We certainly do... We certainly do...
Love the post. Even though you only quote me once. *pouts*
Dear Ms. Trash,
We regret to inform you your online cancellation was too slow.
Warm Regards,
Anonymouse.
P.S. May I suggest Svet's place.
Anonymous, we went there the last few times and her mum always walks in at the crucial moment. My parents are away until Saturday, so I'm saying it should be my place.
Oh dear, I haven't had the pleasure of that happening! OK, your place it is. You'll have to challenge me in a game of paper-sissors-rock to see who gets to play first though.
Anonymouse.
*scissors
Hmmm anonymous posting is so exciting... I can't delete or modify anything I write.
dear sweaty lama,
i have always avoided reading friends blogs. i much prefer the blogs of confused christian teens coming to terms with thier hormones and questions of faith (so entertaining). anyway your blog is ok...i guess, if you like that sort of thing.
lots of love b.
p.s. would love to see more pictures of you doubting in god or contemplating hormones.
Blair, if I ever said a bad word against you, (and I more than likely have, let's face it), I take it back... That comment was gold!
Anonymouse, you can have her. I don't engage in petty games like paper-scissors-rock to decide such matters. A thumb war, maybe, but not paper-scissors-rock.
Arh yes, I remember back in Year 10 one of my friends used to write down quotes.
Except instead of 'witty social commentary', it was 'things that sound dirty when out of context'.
I myself will never live down the candy induced quote --- 'These balls are too big to fit in my mouth'.
Svet's Personal Goat Stylist: the sauve individual that photographs her with goats, ensures she is representing goats and other quadrapeds equally, and sees to other politically-correct goat issues - aka fortunecat.
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