But I would like to take this opportunity to give a ‘shout out’ to all those sneaky snoopers who never ever comment. I can think of a few of you off the top of my head… ( which means that there’s plenty more because most things stay buried in my unconscious rather than anywhere useful and retrievable you know?).
Well anyways, this entry is mostly devoted to Bowie (pictured here as Santa) for his amazingly selfless efforts in the art of the Svetlana recovery process.
When I was sickly with tonsillitis, Bowie visited me and brought a sack (not that kind you dirty freaks) of gifts to aid my healing. Much of this was lion related paraphernalia (tapping into my big cat toy fetish from my childhood) also my fave drinks like mocha, g & t (for when I got better ONLY) and cookies and puzzles and those awesome stained glass window making kits! It was like Christmas again, cept not my shithouse-no-pressie-christmas but a real present happy happy Christmas! So thanks Bowie, even though you went to an emo gig, my respect still stands tall for you.
And for the rest of you guys…you get nothing cos you all suck. Na ok, here’s some crap for you…
The cure for nudity is not darkness (as the cure for darkness is actually light) the lesson I learned? Don’t walk around your house naked at night thinking a dark corridor is a substitute for clothing.
Tonsillitis can be self inflicted! Just see how far you can push yourself by taking drugs three times in one week, working opening shifts in a bakery and double booking yourself as much as possible.
“It’s never too late to go back in time,” I said to Alex the other day as we looked down at our half eaten meal. We really should’ve done the time warp an uneaten the whole thing. It was a weird hippy salad that tasted more like potpourri, chili and pickled grasses than actual food. I mean it had lotus in it for fucks sake! FLOWERS ARE NOT FOOD.
Sexual Harrassment is the new black:Asking a check out chick-BOY if he’s “open” can be grossly misinterpreted.
The cure for 43degree heat waves is not pouring water over yourself on a leather couch; it ends up more uncomfortable than beforehand.
BONUS MANIC QUESTION OF THE DAY/WEEK/MONTH!
Is it lame or unlame to buy underwear that reads “My dog can beat up Paris’ dog” with a picture of a Chihuahua in a pink bomber jacket?
I eagerly await your answers (like an illness) and good day to all of you.
7 comments:
It's lame to do that if your best bud already has the same underwear. The best bud is thereby exempt from any lameness associated with the original purchase. Especially if I am the best bud.
That check-out guy loved us! Trust me, we were probably the only people during his whole shift who made him laugh (OK, so maybe it was more of an give an embarrassed smile). Especially since NICK was working, and we all know that he's Brunnie Coles' stereotypical mancandy. (My heart belongs to Piers, though. GO PIERS!)
Too right about those lotuses. Yeech.
Now go post some bad lyrics on my blog.
XOX
The idea of having a vicious little chihuahua anywhere near my crotch is a big no, no. I'm sure those knife like teeth could render one lame in a different sort of way.
Hmmm. A salad with potpourri, chili, pickled grasses and lotus doesn't sound half as good to seb as a salad of pot, chili, pickles, grasshoppers and locusts. Mmmmm locusts.
Svet, you're back from the dead? Yay! I'll save you from chewing dry cardboard biscuits in the search of wisdom and offer you this: 'The candle that burns twice as bright burns half as long.' So yeah.. keep that in mind while partying kiddies.
Oh and two female best friends wearing matching panties sounds cool enough to get 'unlame' from me. Post pics.
Anyone who calls underwear panties doesn't deserve to live let alone indulge in raunchy pics.
And Seb, is there a reason you keep feminising your name? You can tell me, really:) Anyway I think locusts are a wonderful idea and i shall put that forward to the good ppl at The Spot.
Alex, you know i cant post on your blog, the other 20 million comments are too extensive and self-indulgent, but hey what else can you expect from bloggers?
Waxie, are you putting something down in my pants now? hahaha. And your birthday present is a big green, leafy salad because I fear you may not be long with this world with an attitude like that.
hey svet, great to hear from you again. that salad sounds really crap, i definately agree, flowers are not a food neither is rocket, yuk! also dont eat coconut risotto. the undies, (definately not panties!) also sound pretty lame, but if you and alex have them then maybe not. i am in england now and therefore behind the eight ball.
love you long time!
love lucy xxxxxx
Oh, so the truth emerges about what Lucy REALLY thinks of Tescos Finest Rocket salad...why didn't you say something BIIIIAAAATCH????
Oh and Svet, I've missed your hilarious entries! They always make me laff. In the baff. While I'm bovvered wif eating dook. And lighting a fag with my wad of books. Yeeeaahhh! 50!
Anyway, I think the chihuahua undies (oondies) could be quite amusing in the right context. By the right context I mean on you. And by quite amusing I mean hot hot hot!
Anyway, expect a lot of comments from me on your blog as I'm now crippled (check out snotblog and you'll see why).
Love CHOX
hehehe I told you to expect a lot of comments...
At least this one doesn't contain sexual references, like alex's special comment did...
AAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHH
Stay cool svetso. I miss ya like the deserts miss the rain. Or like the desserts miss the custard.
mmm...custard. Byebyebye
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