feeeeeling goooood

"I really like your machine, it's so sleek" said Blair as he clutched David's hard, smooth device in both hands.
"Yeah it looks really good doesn't it?" replied David proudly.
"Mmm yeah its beautifull," Sebastion and I knodded our heads in agreement as we all sat around gazing at it in admiration. I couldn't wait till it was my turn to wrap my lips around it and pump, pump pump till I could pump no more.

It was just like any other weekend, except that this time David had a impressive, huge, black soda fountain bottle. Your grandma might use this kind of thing to whip cream but us no-good-kids use it to inhale nitrous oxide.

I wasn't keen on the idea at first, I mean pills, hallucinogens, horse Tranquilizers SURE but this sounded waaay too much like chroming. And I was not some bored 14 year-old asleep on an Upfield train! But then I was quickly seduced as my peer pressure pals informed me that it was actually just laughing gass, the type your dentist uses. Now a few of my closer friends know that the concept of the Dentist turns me on. This is because you get strapped into a chair and a stranger in a mask rams stuff down your throat. Totally kinky.
Unfortunately most dentists completely massacre my fantasy as soon as they start babbling about football or what course they did at uni 6million years back. It makes me want to shove their lame little mirror stick up their arse.

So anyways, gassing yourself is heaps of fun. Your body goes all sleepy and numb with seductive pins and needles. Vision fades away and everything sounds like youre in a tin can. It only lasts about 30 seconds but WHAT A 30 SECONDS BABY! Plus you can pickpocket your friends in the few seconds when they're out of it and say strange things to them and when they wake up they'll wonder if they just dreamt it because they just heard distant voices and echoes. Yeah friends are fun.

Now "Noss" as its commonly called is not supposed to make you incoherent afterwards, but as I listened into Blair's ranting I heard this...
"I used to have one (a soda fountain) but then my housemate took it away and stole it because he owned it and it was his." hmmm yes Blair.
But i'm not too fazed about this statement because I'm positive Blair was brain damaged before all this substance inhaling. Why else would he have dated yours truly all those months ago? There is no other explaination.

And I would like to say to my dearest friend Alex, I can see you shaking your head as you read of all this medicinal drug experimentation. And I know you are going to tell me its bad for my brain but I would like to remind you of what you said to me a few weeks back...
"Sometimes I do things and I don't know how and why they happen. I think I might have brain damage". So there you have it, proof that animals can write sonnetts and that lawnmowers make good friends. My brain's totally fine! Theres no logic, just time. hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.