Rant with me

After some recent protest that this blog was turning into something that very closely resembled a big fat advertisement, I've decided to tone down on the consumerism. I got the debit card stuff out of my system and I'm ready to start acting normally again. By normally I of course mean abnormally and by abnormally I mean ranty and ravey.

Rant A: section 0001:

High Maintenance and whether this is true about me and whether it's even really a bad thing if it were true, which it is almost certainly not.

Some rather obnoxious people in the past have informed me that I was a "high maintenance" girlfriend. Funnily enough these people weren't even in a relationship with me at the time. Anyway, they seemed pretty confident about this even after I proceeded to throw something very large and very heavy in their direction.

And just like how domestic/sexual abuse is passed on, I of course teased a friend of mine about being high maintenance just recently. However I soon realised that I was probably the high maintenance one to begin with.

I don't really think being high maintenance is a bad thing anyway, its often just a label inadequate guys like to use for girlfriends who get angry with them when they take her to the pub with six of their mates for Valentines day or throw up on her bed or shave her canary or something.

Is it such a bad thing if I get upset if someone doesn't text me back within a couple of hours? Ye Olde tells me my angry response is way out of line.
But sometimes it pisses me off when I send a 62 character, friendly text with lots "how are you's?" and "miss you's" and "(insert relevant witty comment)'s" and all I get back 3 hours later is something like,

'Busy car shop later talk'

No punctuation, no grammar, no detail = no sense.
The term 'instant message' should be rephrased to 'snail mail/I'm a big fat lazy arse with a communication disorder message'.

Rant A: section 002:

It isn't unreasonable to become annoyed when people are late and you're waiting somewhere really cold and murdery.

Lateness sucks. I hate having to wait for late people and I hate being one because I get stressed and anxious and guilty. Lateness should be avoided at all costs. One way I help to overcome a serial tardy-loser's habits is by giving an earlier time to arrive. Thats right, just lie to them. 15 minutes, 30 minutes even an hour earlier if you like. That way, if they get there too early you can be late for them. HA HA! How's it feel now sucker?!

It isn't unheard of to feel cheated when "going out for dinner" turns into Maccas or KFC.
What makes guys think that the harsh fluorescent light, the screaming kids and the smell of disinfectant in Maccas, KFC, or Red Rooster is going to get us in the mood? Mmmm baby, your complexion looks so grey and your mouth so greasy. DO ME NOW!

Rant A: section 003:

When attended to correctly. high maintenance girlfriends are well worth it. They like being looked after but even more than that they enjoy looking after you. You'll probably always be on her mind and of course the sex will be awesome. You only get out what you put in says Nutri-grain, wise words.

I would like to finish this post with more wise words from a very wise man. This amusing phrase was said last night when he was trying to explain to Stu and I how difficult the English language can be sometimes.

I give you David!

"Sometimes I say something and then I'm like, wait that isn't a actual speak!"