Maybe I'm just old fashioned (or just naive) but it seems that I'm
completely out of touch as to what constitutes a relationship these days. When you were a teenager it was pretty easy; some weedy, horny boy asked you out and you spent a few weeks watching him play playstation until you both realised that maintaining a relationship was boring and hard/ he kissed your best friend/ he wouldn't go to the formal with you.
Nowadays you have to act really chilled out all the time because it isn't cool if it isn't CASUAL. Both parties should ideally present themselves as if they were permanently wired to a Valium drip, a far away gaze in their eyes and an occasional shrug of one shoulder just to let you know they're "cool with like, whatever."
As I'm sure most young love puppies of today are aware of, there are some basic rules to staying cool and oh so casual. Don't ask your partner if they're sleeping with anyone else. Don't ask them if they love you and definitely don't ever invite them to any family functions. Simple. Or is it?
If nobody is talking about anything then how do we really know who (or what) we are dating?
For example, Emily and Daniel are "seeing each other"...They both enjoy hot sex and fine dining with the occasional movie chucked in. But Emily is also seeing Anton and made out with some guy called Ben at Eurotrash last weekend. Daniel on the other hand has already told his mum about Emily and is planning a Valentines Day trip to the zoo. He just knows Emily will love it. Mmmm dysfunctional.
There are too many Emilys and Daniels around these days.. I don't think people should be so worried about putting someone off by stating their intentions. But hey, it's easier said than done. We all want people to like us and if that requires pushing the truth a little or just blind neglect of your own integrity then so be it. I've been in a couple of "casual" relationships" where I have hunted down the competition with a stanley knife and a bottle of tequila under my arm. No I'm just kidding, it was Vodka. Ok I'm really kidding, I just whined about it to my friends until they went and got knives and Vodka.
So...are we, like, going out now? It's hard to know when you're official. It's easy enough to know that you're not when you find your little sex monkey in a tree with someone else, but what if you don't catch them? Do you question them about whether fun-times in the vines is a possibility? And what about open trees? I mean open relationships. What does that even mean? "I'm totally committed to you, but you know, not in any real sense."
Casual is more complicated now than ever (I believe) because it is no longer just a matter of not holding hands when you walk down the street or hooking up with people on the side. And being IN a relationship isn't determined anymore but by the fact that you might live with someone else (in their bed) or share their toothbrush. It means different things for everyone. Each person has their own frustratingly complex code for commitment. For some guys its paying for your dinner, for others it's paying for your plane ticket to Sydney so you can meet their family.
My code is so fucked up that not even I truly understand it. However I managed to decipher a few key points, for those of you who are dying to know. I know you're out there!
Svet's Code O' Commito: some signs to look for
- I let you meet my friends...over and over again.
- I let you choose the movie
- I maintain a higher than normal level of grooming (for at least the first few weeks)
- I let you sleep over
- I invite you to future events (more than one week away)
- I don't see anyone else
:I don't actually TRY to be monogamous, I just know that when it comes naturally to me that I'm seeing the right guy. That's correct, my infidelity is about You... not me.
That's pretty much all I can come up with bar the complicated emotional and psychological milestones. Basically if a guy thinks, "wow she's really fucking with my head, I'm confused." Then chances are I like you lots;)
Everyone has their own commitment code and no matter how much Cosmo you read, you're not going to figure it out unless you do that thing, what's it called? Communication?
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
Average Joe gets some air time
The internet is an amazing thing.
Nowadays just about anyone can get their 15 minutes of fame, exposing their drivel to a mass audience all over the world. And the flip side of that is, if you're sick of listening to "the man", the celebs, the news lady or the elves in your mind you can always find some average Joe's opinion on anything from war politics to hair straighteners.
Perhaps one of the gems of the "people's internet" is pillreports.com; a professional looking site that is devoted to cataloging masses of individual people's ecstasy experiences. The site reads like a notebook but is slick like a Scientific paper. With its neutral tones and Times New Roman font, there are no hyper colours or rave paraphernalia to be seen. Contrary to all of this is the content of the site itself; the reports, submitted anonymously by average Janes and Joes all over are in a word "bogan". They are riddled with spelling errors, obscene language and hilarious street slang. Take note of the report below by "rollrollrollroll"...
Before taking the following pill I had a completely empty stomach (except for, about 200mls of water). I'd been smoking cones since 7.30am, and had had probably 2-2.5g of marijuana. I have an extremely high tolerance to marijuana, and find that if i have a big smoke before i ingest a pill, it helps it come on a hell of a lot quicker.
9.10am: Dropped first half
9.20am: Chewed up second half
9.40am: already eye wobbles, body shaking. pretty strong come-up, stomach felt a bit sick. This is the part that made me suspect ketamine, as i started completely smackeying and could barely move my legs, and just kinda laid on my bed shaking with extreme tunnel vision. This only lasted like ten minutes, and i was immediately fucking rolling after it ended.
10.15am: Out of nowhere, i was enjoying my roll and all of a sudden i spewed, luckily i think most of the pill had been digested as i continued to roll off my fucking nut, and also smackeying out (hence the Ketamine)
10.20am: Racked a line from a different pill, cleared my head and made the diamond kick back in.
10.30am: Still rolling my fucking ass off, kinda smacky, but at the same time has it's time of charges. The best euphoria i've ever got from a pill.
11.00am: dropped the rest of pill i racked a line from, so from here on i can't tell what pill was doing what. But before i dropped the second pill, the diamond had me on an amazing plateau that would go from smackeying out, to charging, to relaxed.
got no sleep, but had had 3 different types of pill by the end of the night. The diamond was easily the strongest of the three, as the other two types were both local types, which are always pretty shitty, with mainly amphs or K.
would definitely reccommend yellow diamonds to anyone if they want a fucking epic night of rolling. Just don't take the whole thing at once, because i watched as me and my moderate tolerance mates all puked up what looked to be like the last of the pill, but we all still kept rolling. Also was told by mates that his friends who have a high tolerance and down ten packs in one night all spewed when they double dropped these pills, but all reported still rolling for fucking ages after.
Ahh what a charming story! All that fucking and rolling and spewing, it is enough to turn anyone onto drugs. Thats what I love about pillreports.com, as hard as they try to present the site as a high class, professional, vault of knowledge, the bogan element still takes over and shows drug culture for how it is for the average Joe; rolling and spewing, fuck yeah... sick mate.
Nowadays just about anyone can get their 15 minutes of fame, exposing their drivel to a mass audience all over the world. And the flip side of that is, if you're sick of listening to "the man", the celebs, the news lady or the elves in your mind you can always find some average Joe's opinion on anything from war politics to hair straighteners.
Perhaps one of the gems of the "people's internet" is pillreports.com; a professional looking site that is devoted to cataloging masses of individual people's ecstasy experiences. The site reads like a notebook but is slick like a Scientific paper. With its neutral tones and Times New Roman font, there are no hyper colours or rave paraphernalia to be seen. Contrary to all of this is the content of the site itself; the reports, submitted anonymously by average Janes and Joes all over are in a word "bogan". They are riddled with spelling errors, obscene language and hilarious street slang. Take note of the report below by "rollrollrollroll"...
| Name: | Yellow Diamond |
| State/Province: | NSW |
| Logo: | none |
| Colour: | Yellow |
| Shape: | Diamond |
| Height: | 9 mm |
| Width: | 3 mm |
9.10am: Dropped first half
9.20am: Chewed up second half
9.40am: already eye wobbles, body shaking. pretty strong come-up, stomach felt a bit sick. This is the part that made me suspect ketamine, as i started completely smackeying and could barely move my legs, and just kinda laid on my bed shaking with extreme tunnel vision. This only lasted like ten minutes, and i was immediately fucking rolling after it ended.
10.15am: Out of nowhere, i was enjoying my roll and all of a sudden i spewed, luckily i think most of the pill had been digested as i continued to roll off my fucking nut, and also smackeying out (hence the Ketamine)
10.20am: Racked a line from a different pill, cleared my head and made the diamond kick back in.
10.30am: Still rolling my fucking ass off, kinda smacky, but at the same time has it's time of charges. The best euphoria i've ever got from a pill.
11.00am: dropped the rest of pill i racked a line from, so from here on i can't tell what pill was doing what. But before i dropped the second pill, the diamond had me on an amazing plateau that would go from smackeying out, to charging, to relaxed.
got no sleep, but had had 3 different types of pill by the end of the night. The diamond was easily the strongest of the three, as the other two types were both local types, which are always pretty shitty, with mainly amphs or K.
would definitely reccommend yellow diamonds to anyone if they want a fucking epic night of rolling. Just don't take the whole thing at once, because i watched as me and my moderate tolerance mates all puked up what looked to be like the last of the pill, but we all still kept rolling. Also was told by mates that his friends who have a high tolerance and down ten packs in one night all spewed when they double dropped these pills, but all reported still rolling for fucking ages after.
Ahh what a charming story! All that fucking and rolling and spewing, it is enough to turn anyone onto drugs. Thats what I love about pillreports.com, as hard as they try to present the site as a high class, professional, vault of knowledge, the bogan element still takes over and shows drug culture for how it is for the average Joe; rolling and spewing, fuck yeah... sick mate.
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