Manic gets smarterer

Some of you perceptive little things out there would have noticed that I have introduced this thing called "links" into my humble blue blog.

Yes it finally happened, after nearly two years I successfully got the stupid things to work. I even learned a little HTML code along the way. And I still am convinced that the only reason HTML still exists is to make ordinary, normal non-nerds feel stupid. I mean surely they can figure out a way of letting the computer's translate normal languages into HTML so that I don't have to!
My nerdy Ye Olde (without whom I would never have gotten those links) is so good at HTML it's his second language. He sometimes accidentally slips it into sentences like,
"Svet, what do you want for dinner? greater-than sign br forward slash less-than sign. I think I want pizza."
Poor Ye Olde, his brain is half computer now.


Most importantly I established a link to my shop at www.svetcat.etsy.com (yes that's my portrait above).
I don't really know how this shop thing happened cos I was just browsing online and before I knew it I was a member of etsy.com and a registered seller who accepted VISA.
It was all very confusing and exciting so I just went with it, and now I'm a merchant.

So there you have it, I want your money. You can buy some of my greeting cards so that I won't have to keep giving them to you guys on your birthdays, geez! Now it can be your birthday everyday! With just $3 plus $1.50 postage of course. No such thing as a free lunch you know.

Anyway, the point of this post was to show off that I have links. So take a look will you? It took me over an hour to get them to work, and what else could you possibly have to do? That's right, nothing.

Shameless promotionally yours,
Svetlana

DRIVE THE GIRLS CRAZY!

No, like, in a bad way.

Because everything went soooo well last time I did a post making fun of guy's who pick up girls badly, I've decided to do it again!

Based on my own vast, and unlucky experience I have compiled a delightful how-not-to guide for picking up girls.

HOW NOT TO PICK UP GIRLS: A GUIDE FOR THE MODERN BOY
Head to the nearest night spot and start not-doing these things!

Ask a girl about her opinion on something and then interrupt her answer with another question about her opinion on something else.

Lean excessively on all things; walls, chairs, other people. You should appear so relaxed that people think you're medically sedated. Leer over the girl you're interested in as if you might fall into her lap at any moment. Actually falling into her lap can be an added bonus.

Blow smoke into a girls face and tell her to get used to it while you sit with a tough guy expression and air of disdain.

After a failed attempt to pick up a girl, head straight for her best friend.

High-five your mates loudly, visibly and frequently.

When talking to a girl, make her feel insecure by,
* "negging" her (A veiled insult ie: complementing her on her hair and then asking if it's wig)
*Talking about lots of other hot girls you know.
* Staring at other girls mid conversation

Insist that girls buy YOU drinks.

Make heaps of assumptions about a girl you know nothing about and announce them to her as if you understand her more than anyone ever has.

Walk up to a girl who is sitting down and squash up next to her, rudely invading her personal space and use the close contact to trap her into a conversation.

Perform magic tricks read girl's palms like you're some sort of traveling side show.


There you have it, my passive aggressive rant for the week.