"Of course shopping's better than sex" claimed the ditsy Sportsgirl advertising campaign of yester-season. It was controversial, and with good reason. I thought it was embarrassing to my gender, but more embarrassing for people who shopped at Sportsgirl (which is plenty embarrassing enough really). However after an explosive round of shopping yesterday (not at Sportsgirl) I am actually beginning to wonder about that annoying little tag line. Plus i had sex-hair. Explain that?
From midday to nightfall I had... shopping.
First with one shopper partner, then he retired and another took over.
It was good, it was really good.
I skipped all around town...
Flirting with the offers of limited edition Allstars, latest Elle and CK underwear, 50's skirts and printed tees, even guys stuff.
I engaged in the superficial interaction with varying breeds of retail lackies...
Bitchy snoot faces who wont put anything on hold for you for 5 minutes,
Then enthusiastic, slobbering puppies who are your biggest fans just for walking in the door.
Neither of these types I really go for, I just end up feeling cheap and dirty.
You really have to make your own fun, the assistants (despite their name) wont give it to you. But the climax, the climax came in strong... in the discovery that I could look fabulous in emerald (previously unknown), and actually the climaxes kept on coming... when the perfect summer skirt decided to sit perfectly on my hips, not a smidge lower or higher.
And then when Shopping Partner number 2 assisted me in obtaining the 'buy 2, save 20%' lingerie special at Myer. It didn't mean that you also had to share the same changeroom but we didn't know that. And for the record, it is probably not a good idea for both of you getting down to your nothings in a room decked out 360 degrees in mirrors. No offence Shopping Partner 2, youre sexy-as, it was just hard to know where to look.
So when the glass doors started shutting and security started getting narky, and Shopping P.2 started not talking to me for putting tester lipgloss actually on my lips, it became clear that the end was nigh.
My knees were weak, my head was swimming and it wasn't S.P.2's alcohol-soaked chocolate sponge with extra cream. I'd shopped myself stupid and it felt FUCKING AMAZING. It's all I can think about! I didn't get any bargains, in fact I think I was consistently ripped off, and I'd do it again I tell you! If I hadn't spent all my money.
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5 comments:
INDEED. That was a perfect description of yesterday.
And you really do look nice in emerald.
I feel all ripped-off and dirty, too. Argh, I spent too much money. I wish I didn't enjoy shopping; I'd feel much better about myself!
hey svet, your shopping expose was highly entertaining and accurate. made me laugh. how's everything going by the by? havent spoken for yonks. might just have to get off my arse and call you!
love you long time xxxooo
Hey punk. Guess what. Come on guess. You'll never get it.
I've read your blog and posted a comment!!!
Are you pround of me? I find it amazing how effective your font size and colour scheme is at holding my attention span.
Now I can't stay long. Must visit a couple of other blogs before i get out of this virtual world. It freaks me out. strange virtual people with stories from an alternate reality. Some may say a more real reality. Ok, sky is falling now.Must go :}
Thanks guys, your comments are much appreciated. And even you creepy little silent readers out there (i'm sure theres thousands of you) I wanna thank you guys to.
And to Seb, don't think your one time visit gets you off the hook. I will get Vulcare to strap you to the computer chair and check for updates. Can you say rope burn? You know what i'm talking about.
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